Reviewing a newly designed logo with a newly acquired client:
“I love the overall look, but I...
Feb 10th
“We need a logo. It needs to have a picture of a barn, a...”
Feb 10th
Watch
Let’s Enhance..
Feb 10th
“We don’t want our share holders to think that we are...”
Feb 10th
“If you’re going to take my butt to court, you are going to...”
Feb 9th
Client: “Hey… I’m just calling to drive you crazy…”
Me: “At...
Feb 9th
[Email a few days after initial phone conversation.] “My psychic said that your definitely the...
Feb 9th
“I like the design, but make it black and white. I read a...”
Feb 9th
Meeting with two clients from the food/beverage industry.
Client 1: “Creatively, we’re...
Feb 8th
“I showed it to my son and he didn’t like it, and he’s like...”
Feb 8th
Client: “Hmmm, could you make it bigger?”
Me: “That’s what she...
Feb 8th
“The site is broken. When I’m on the home page and I click...”
Feb 8th
Me: “…and that concludes my design presentation.”
Client: “We don’t...
Feb 8th
“If you’re going to charge me 40$ an hour to make my website...”
Feb 8th
Me: “It’s going to take approx. 150 hours.”
Them: “Can you do it half...
Feb 7th
I used to design for a client that measured everything by the thickness of his thumb. “Could...
Feb 7th
“I’m only willing to pay $10/hour, I know all of the programs...”
Feb 7th
I did a promotion for a local mineral-water producer.
At the final presentation he said:...
Feb 7th
Super file name
Client: [Changed the source in a CMS] “I changed the file name to ‘logo-blue.png’...
Feb 6th
Thrown under the bus
I was designing a brochure that would show transitions from old computer technology to new to show...
Feb 6th
“Can you include a splash intro animation that turns the...”
Feb 6th
“Once I get out on parole, we can really get this thing off...”
Feb 6th
“I need you to make the website black and white but include...”
Feb 5th
“Will it be cheaper if we have the navigation on the right,...”
Feb 5th
Client: “We need the update to the site done today!”
Me: “I’m sorry. You...
Feb 5th
Client: “I want the site to be metallic and cool, like ‘blow your head off’ cool,...
Feb 5th
Client: “We’d like to make it easier for people to recover a lost password.”
Me:...
Feb 4th
“Make the site have the contact information hidden between...”
Feb 4th
“Can you make our website track their webcams? I want to make...”
Feb 4th
[For an ear, nose, throat and sinus center] “We want to design two ads that promote our...
Feb 4th
Client: “Why didn’t you call me over the holiday to see if I changed my mind?”
Feb 3rd
Client: “We want a no-right-click script so people, by which we mean paedophiles, can’t...
Feb 3rd
Killer Jellyfish of Graphic Design...
Fun Fact: As a graphic designer, 92% of your time will be spent on unpaid favors. Illustration...
Feb 3rd
Client: “I need you to design me an internal company newsletter”
Me: “I’ll...
Feb 3rd
First point in the brief of a client :
The website will be available online.
Yeah,...
Feb 2nd
Instant Web site! Just add water!
“I don’t understand. I gave you the content yesterday. Why isn’t the site...
Feb 2nd
The client wanted packaging and ads for disposable razors designed. She wanted to develop a look...
Feb 2nd
Lawyer Math
I was doing database work for a securities litigator, who once ran over and said, “OK, you...
Feb 2nd
“Can you make this jingle sound more brown?”
Feb 2nd
“I definitely want some scrolling phrases going across the...”
Feb 1st
Package Design
“I want it to appeal to a soccer mom with twins, but remain unisex. I’m thinking gold...
Feb 1st
Client: “We like the green, but it’s just a little too green. Can you use our...
Feb 1st